Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time.
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Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex?
Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex?
A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty.
His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex.
After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition.
‘Stuff that!’ says the woman.
‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
They say sex is a killer...
Do you want to die happy?
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Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
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One day Pebbles Flintstone got scared and hopped in bed with Wilma and Fred.
She looked under the covers on Wilma's side and asked what that was and Wilma said well Pebbles thas my rock.
After that Pebbles looked on Fred's side and asked what that thing was down there and Fred replied thats my rock grinder.
So Pebbles layed there for a few minutes then sat up and said so mommy puts her rock in daddy's rock grinder and out pops PEBBLES! ! ! !
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar.
"Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?"
"Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
"A pair of slippers and a dildo?"
"Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "