Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the second fan. "If they made more of an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, I'd be supporting a decent team."
The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas. They made a deal. Chuck now owns the shop.
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!