Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.
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Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs!
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Q: How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They always use candles.
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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A. One - men will screw anything.
B. One - men will screw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize?
He was outstanding in his field.
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter.
To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
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