One simply cannot play fair and win in a zoo - there are way too many cheetahs.
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What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
Claws.
Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a pig ran in front of the car.
The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t.
The pig was killed.
The President told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened.
About an hour later the driver staggers back to the car with his clothes in total disarray.
He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily.
“What happened?” asked the President.
“Well,” the driver replied “the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me.”
“My God, what did you tell them?” asked the President.
The driver replied: “I’m Bill Clinton’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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A man is walking through a park when he steps in a pile of dog mess.
He pauses to wipe his shoe on the grass and sees another man step into the same pile.
‘I just did that,’ says the man, so the other man rubs his nose in it.
What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper?
A slippery customer.
Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!