What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch. First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows." Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows." Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows." Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp. First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend." Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument." They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting. First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish, let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it." Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. "That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor. "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly. "Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?" "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"
What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
What do you call a rabbit who is real cool? A hip hopper.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.