What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
A cattle battle.
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What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?
Rhesus Pieces.
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What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot.
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A: Hissssstory.
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy.
The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?”
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.”
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.”
“OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.”
“There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them:
If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake.