I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks.
Q: Why are tigers religious? A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing? A: Because he's a little hoarse.
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.