What did one math book say to the other math book? "I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
The bartender asks: "Would all three of you like some beer?" The first one replies, "I don't know." The second one replies, "I don't know either." The third replies, "Yes."
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
Three statisticians go out hunting together. After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out "We got him!"
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.