Without you I can't breath. I love you so much my nose.
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.
No! You don't have "Bad luck". You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.