A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
Yo mamma so ugly that her birth certificate came with an apology letter from the condom factory.
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she were born, the doctor didn't know which end to slap.
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Alcohol doesn't make you FAT... it makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!