The best ugly jokes

A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
Vote: has 76.74 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, alcohol, party, ugly, mean
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
Vote: has 76.54 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, kitty, insulting
Yo mamma so ugly that her birth certificate came with an apology letter from the condom factory.
Vote: has 76.38 % from 217 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, insulting
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ugly, vulgar, kids, insulting
As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, insulting, vulgar, ugly
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she were born, the doctor didn't know which end to slap.
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, doctor, insulting
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Vote: has 70.82 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, insulting
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Vote: has 69.30 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, baby, animal, insulting
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Vote: has 69.02 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, ugly, women, fat, husband
Alcohol doesn't make you FAT... it makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, fat, ugly