Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back? A: A receding hare line.
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's? Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you. Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
What is the best job in a country which is war-prone? "Foreign ambassador."
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
He was such a big baby that the doctor was afraid to slap him.
‘After making love, I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?” And she said, “I don’t think this was good for anybody.”’ Garry Shandling