Q: What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A: A beer-a-cuda!
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? A: He thought his wife was a flake.
They are a fastidious couple. She’s fast and he’s hideous.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access. It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except porn sites.
He’s been hitting the bottle for years. He’ll be two tomorrow.
Your mamma's so fat, when she backs up, she beeps!
Yo momma’s so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle she got hit by a train.