David Hasselhoff walks into a bar, and says to the barman, ‘I want you to call me David Hoff.’
‘Sure,’ says the barman.
‘No hassle.’
What’s the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
There have been sightings of Bigfoot.
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Bunny farts!
Q: What does XXX stand for in a porno film?
A: It's the signature of the three blondes who "act" in it
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting.
I'm not getting up."
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris owns the gold color at the end of the rainbow.
Vote:
Yo Mama is like a refrigerator.
Meat goes in and out all day.
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing.
Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work.
After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant.
Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation.
His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message:
"Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window. Prefer Wraps and females who think realistically pick Wholemeal.”