On the ninth day, God said, "Let there be soccer." And it was good. Later on that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence." God said, "Let it be called the Manchester United." Later that day, God said, "Even Man U needs idiots." So HE made their fans.
Why do blondes clean their hair in the sink? Because that’s where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Where did Saddam Hussein keep his CDs? In Iraq.
Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here'.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin.
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
What did one computer say to the other? 010101101010101010101
Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A: A love call.