Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
Chuck Norris always wins at Jenga, the tower couldn't dare to crumble.
Redbull doesn't give you wings. Lat pulldowns do.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
What is height of Secrecy? Offering blank visiting cards.
The church is struck by lightning. The insurance company refuses to pay out for damages incurred, as there is a specific disclaimer clause for "An act of God", which, amongst others, lightning is classified as. The priest goes to every household and asks for a donation to rebuild the church. One Christian farmer protested, "I'm sorry, Pastor, but I can't give money to Somebody who set His own house alight!"