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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
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Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
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Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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