Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.
If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you. On facebook!
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!" The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?" They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.