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Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
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More jokes about: dog, life, animal
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
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As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
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More jokes about: kids, insulting, vulgar, ugly
This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond. On the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone." Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one." Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down." Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?" Wife says, "Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles." Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember. Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost?" The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted." The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries! Wife says, "I knew you you should have written the order down." Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there." To which the wife replies, "No, it's not... look, you forgot the pickles!"
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More jokes about: old people, food, memory, time
Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
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There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
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What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
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Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
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More jokes about: bible, money, death
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
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More jokes about: hipster, light bulb