Best jokes ever

Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"
Vote: has 62.93 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
Vote: has 62.93 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, nurse, viagra, dirty
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
Vote: has 62.93 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, technology
What did Adam say to Eve? ‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’
Vote: has 62.93 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What did the elephant say to the nude man? ‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
Vote: has 62.93 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
Vote: has 62.91 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I’ll show you this frog in my pocket.” He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That’s funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”
Vote: has 62.91 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot to trot." The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices." The third man married a school teacher. Dave thinks to himself, "Poor guy, teachers are frigid." The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse's husband. He sourly says, "Don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary.'" Then, the telephone operator's husband calls and sourly says, "Don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was 'Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.'" Later that afternoon, the teacher's husband calls and happily says, "When you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was 'We are going to do this over and over until we get right.'"
Vote: has 62.89 % from 367 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, couple, holiday, nurse, phone
How do you starve a black person? Put their food stamps under a job application.
Vote: has 62.88 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: what the hell was I thinking? ‘Eighty per cent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.’ Jackie Mason
Vote: has 62.88 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage