Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty. Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sex and his father had a condom in his hand. The father, surprised by his son entrance, bent over pretending to look for something. "What are you looking for?" Billy asked. "Aw, well..hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied. So, Billy spontaneously: "Why..? To “jump” it..?"
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her.
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ? He had to work it out with a pencil...
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report." Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."