Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex?
A:Honey I'm home.
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar?
He got bombed.
The boss snubs his employee because he took a flashlight with him to a date: "What kind of crap happens nowadays? When I was in your age, I wasn’t carrying any flashlight with me on a date. I was always meeting my girlfriends in the dark."
"And what did that got you... Take a look at what you’ve married in to!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Yes! I've always known you were a bit nutty!
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