After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz.
When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish.
''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains.
''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.)
''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage.
Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard.
Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
A: She wanted to gain weight!
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra?
A: Oooh - Henry!
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
What is difference between woman and condom?
None :-)
Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !