When Chuck Norris was a child, he would play with real logs instead of Lincoln logs.
Yo Momma's a bowling ball. She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter. Then she comes rolling back for more.
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.
Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.
"I'd like to seek divorce. My wife hasn't spoken with me more than half year." "Are you stupid? It's a dream of every man."
Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said: '' holy fuck we can't fix that.''
Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don’t complain about the draught.
What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.