The best animal jokes

A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
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More jokes about: marriage, work, wife, god, animal
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, baby, animal
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
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More jokes about: animal, death
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
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More jokes about: animal, car
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, animal, drunk, bartender
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
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More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.
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More jokes about: animal
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, animal, insulting
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
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More jokes about: alcohol, cop, car, animal, party
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
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More jokes about: animal, love