Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
I went to the movie theater the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dachshund.
It was a sad, funny kind of film.
In the sad part, the dachshund cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dachshund laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film.
After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said.
"That dachshund really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex?
A. They mark the sheep that kick!
What are cat-erpillars afraid of?
Dog-erpillars.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
Vote:
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull?
The white bull does: “Mooo”.
The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
Vote:
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?
Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.