''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Little Billy looks at the chimpanzees from the zoo.
Mama, little Billy shouts, this monkey looks like our neighbour, Mr. Danny.
Billy, it’s not polite to talk like that!
Why? The chimpanzee doesn’t understand...
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road?
A: To get hit by my car.
What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes.
Near hear another chick stops and says to hear:
Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat?
But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart?
A: "Cheap, cheap!"