Yo Mama's so fat, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down? Hoe-Down.
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!