The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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Chuck Norris has a lot to contribute to the Third World... War.
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Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Shhhhh... Did you hear that? Chuck did.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
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If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
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Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so. He remind him of Trivette...
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