The best Chuck Norris jokes

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Vote: has 30.80 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Vote: has 30.79 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Vote: has 30.14 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
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Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Vote: has 26.83 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Vote: has 25.71 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

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