Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?"
Little Johnny: "11"
Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
Vote:
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
A guy walks into a bar, orders six jägermeister shots.
The bartender asks him if it's a special occation?
The guy answers "yes indeed, my very first blowjob".
The bartender gets excited and says "Congratulations, I'll give you the seventh shot on the house".
The guy answers "Nah, if six jäger shots isn't enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference".
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child?
A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
Bill and John, in their 80's decided to visit the Madam for one last sexual encounter.
The Madam noticed Bill and John approaching, she quickly prepared 2 blow-up dolls, placing one in each room on the bed.
Bill and John told the Madam that "We are here for the last time".
The Madam sent Bill upstairs to the room on the left and John to the room on the right.
After an hour Bill and John left the rooms, paid the Madam and left.
Bill and John were very quiet until Bill said: "How was yours"?
John said, "I think she was dead".
John said, "How was yours"?
Bill said, "I think she was a witch".
John replied, "How did you know she was a witch"?
Bill said, "Well I got on top of her, bit her nipple, she farted and flew out the window."
Vote:
Knock,Knock,
Who is there?
Pen!
Pen who?
is...
Vote:
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore?
A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms.
"Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.
"No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
Two guys are in a bar.
"Hey, I've got an idea -- let's play 'Twenty Questions!'"
"'Twenty Questions?'
How do you play?"
"You ask me questions and try to guess what I'm thinking of."
"Okay.
But you have to write down what you're thinking of so I know you're not cheating."
The man agrees, and writes down 'moosecock' on a small piece of paper.
"Okay, I got a question. Does it taste good?"
"Uhh...I guess so."
"Is it moosecock?"