What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
What kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees!
There was a boy watching tv with his parents. A sex scene comes on. The boy asks what the people are doing. The mom said "they were just making a cake." The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
A young man walks into a bar and orders a Kamikaze. As soon as he is severed he slams it down. And before the bartender can walk away he calls out I need a shot of Tequila. So the bat tender pours the tequila. And no sooner than he is server he slam it back and then the young man asks for a shot of Gin. The bar tender compiles with the request, and out of curiosity asks the young man are you celebrating? The young man nods, and says quietly mt first blow job. The bartender smiles and says I remember my first. The young man looks up and says so how did you get rid of that taste?