Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
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Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.
He simply decides what time it is.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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