In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
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If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
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May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
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