Q: Why was the lesbian sick?
A: She was lacking vitamin D.
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Someone asked me how I view Lesbian relationships. Apparently, "in HD" wasn't the correct answer.
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother.
„Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
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Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
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Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road?
A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's...
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it?
The AIDS team.
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An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief.
After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back pain—all on the bottom shelf.
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Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.
He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.
They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was gas - but I was wrong, too!"
Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers."
Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
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Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
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Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
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