Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
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Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
A: Fry-days.
Q: What do you call a sleepy Easter egg?
A: Egg-zosted!
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Q: How long does the Easter Bunny like to party?
A: Around the cluck!
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A: He was having a bad hare day!
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill?
A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."