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I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.
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A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital:
Tell me what is your last wish?
Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
A Detroit-area woman who was removed from a jury for commenting about the ongoing case on Facebook has a longer writing task ahead: a five-page essay about the constitutional right to a fair trial.
She responded, "Can I just get the answer from Wikipedia and send it to the inbox on your Facebook page instead?"
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Dear Facebook,
Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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I wonder what Facebook employees do to waste their time at work?
Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.