I walked into the computer repair place with my broken Macintosh computer.
I looked at the stack of them on the rack and said, ‘What’s that, Broke Mac Mountain?’
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Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
"No..."
"Inheritance."
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.
Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.
"Have you got the address of the butter website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."
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Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.
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Chuck Norris does not know about this website.
If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
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Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you.
This will be your home for all eternity.
You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life.
Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured.
He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.
Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table.
To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."
"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.
As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.
"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer.
"Why did you give him the best place of all!"
"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.
"The bottle has a hole in it!"
"What about the PC?"
"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.
"And it's missing three keys,"
"Which three?"
"Control, Alt and Delete."
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it.
Now I have two problems.
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Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?
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