Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
The names 'Adam and Eve' were simply coverups. They were really Chuck and Norris.
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.