Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris just completed a full round of Golf... In 17 shots.
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat.
Chuck Norris did.
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Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
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