Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.