Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
Suicide committed Chuck Norris.