Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick, "What school?"
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train." The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all
Me: "I'm finally happy!" Life: "Lol, wait a sec."