The best phone jokes

If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
Vote: has 63.63 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, student, relationship, phone
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot to trot." The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices." The third man married a school teacher. Dave thinks to himself, "Poor guy, teachers are frigid." The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse's husband. He sourly says, "Don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary.'" Then, the telephone operator's husband calls and sourly says, "Don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was 'Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.'" Later that afternoon, the teacher's husband calls and happily says, "When you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was 'We are going to do this over and over until we get right.'"
Vote: has 62.99 % from 368 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, couple, holiday, nurse, phone
The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood for you?" "Yeah, they did." "Okay, now it’s YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
Vote: has 62.88 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, phone, drug
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, phone, money
Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, phone, insulting