The best sex jokes

Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, couple, sex
Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, insulting, sex
A young couple get between the sheets for the first time. In a flash it’s over. The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’ His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’
Vote: has 46.53 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

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Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
Vote: has 46.22 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

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‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’ Steve Martin
Vote: has 45.97 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

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‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen
Vote: has 45.89 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
Vote: has 45.89 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, Valentines day, drug
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: Gorgonzola! Wait, it is not on yet.
Vote: has 45.85 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
Vote: has 45.83 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, cop, gay
A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar. He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon. The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation. Lalu said, "Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know." They went. Had lots of fun and came back. Wife back at home asked, "I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for." The Husband said, "Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sex, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon." The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."
Vote: has 45.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife, holiday, sex, money