Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking for bluetooth at the orthodontist.
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote. He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: A Selfie!
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
Yo Momma is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.