Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!
Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date. They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start. The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand. Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound. The film began but the silence continued. Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, "Okay, who's got the remote control?"
My New Years resolution is 1080p.
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.