Best jokes ever

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
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More jokes about: blonde, game, science, time
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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More jokes about: animal
Anxiety: Getting up to see why the baby isn’t crying.
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More jokes about: kids
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!
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More jokes about: men
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
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More jokes about: men
The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
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More jokes about: animal, husband
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
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More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
Discussion between two future lawyers: I don’t understand why they rejected me! I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients. What did you tell them? I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands! You’re hands? What do you mean? Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
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More jokes about: lawyer, wife, money
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see!
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More jokes about: school
The young police recruit was asked.. "What would you do if you were sent to arrest your mother?" His reply.... "Call for backup."
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More jokes about: cop