Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
Yo mama so hairy when you were born you almost died of rugburn.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited - she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband. "Hi Hon," he says. "How do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it. It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell. There's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
I'd like to think inside your box.