Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
Wagner is really Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.