Best jokes ever

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the loo. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!" After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, ginger, cop, animal
Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers? A: They have two left feet.
Vote: has 25.91 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, music
Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face? A: Stop laughing and reload.
Vote: has 25.87 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
In the metro an old lady apostrophizes a nigger who was sitting calm in a seat: In my country, the ladies stay on the sits, and young boys like you stay in their feet! In my country, Africa, the boys stay in the middle of the fire, and the ladies stay in the kettles, boiling.
Vote: has 25.87 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, travel, old people
Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A: A spec.
Vote: has 25.82 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek? One.
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around and says, "you ain't from around here...where you from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Pennsylvania." The bartender asks, "Whatchu do up in Pennsylvania?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist...what the hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says, "I mount dead animals." The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us."
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, phone, baby
Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT