Best jokes ever

Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, cowboy, animal, time
The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, relationship, political
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, fish, animal
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and suddenly, the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I tried to get my weapon ready, but there was no time, the tiger leapt toward me with a mighty Roooaarrrrr!I soiled myself." The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same." The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went Roooaarrrrr!"
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people
Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, bar, nerd
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, science, beer
Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard. One day, Bob tells Tom that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it. Unbelieving, Tom blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory. The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple. The second piece Bob instantly identifies as walnut. Tom cannot believe Bob can really do this, so he takes an old piece of wood and whispers to the secretary to rub the wood between her legs. She happily runs it up in her crotch. Tom hands the piece of wood to Bob. Bob smells it three times. "I am stumped. But I would have to guess that this wood is either a pussywillow or a shingle from a shithouse."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, work
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, age, time