Best jokes ever

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and suddenly, the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I tried to get my weapon ready, but there was no time, the tiger leapt toward me with a mighty Roooaarrrrr!I soiled myself." The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same." The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went Roooaarrrrr!"
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people
Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, bar, nerd
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, science, beer
Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard. One day, Bob tells Tom that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it. Unbelieving, Tom blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory. The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple. The second piece Bob instantly identifies as walnut. Tom cannot believe Bob can really do this, so he takes an old piece of wood and whispers to the secretary to rub the wood between her legs. She happily runs it up in her crotch. Tom hands the piece of wood to Bob. Bob smells it three times. "I am stumped. But I would have to guess that this wood is either a pussywillow or a shingle from a shithouse."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, work
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, age, time
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied, "Why ever would you ask such a question?" "The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, love, car
My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She'd say "Knock knock." We'd say "Who's there?". Then she'd say "I can't remember" and start to cry.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween