What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
What is a chameleon's motto?
A change is as good as a rest.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
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Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
An elderly couple went to dinner at the home of some friends, also elderly.
After dinner, the wives went into the kitchen and the two men were talking.
One said, “We went out to dinner last night at a really good restaurant. I’d highly recommend it.”
The second man said, “What’s the name of it?”
The first man thought and thought, then said, “What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love, the one that is usually red that has thorns?”
“Oh, you mean a rose?” said the second man.
“Yes, that’s it,” said the first man.
Then he called to the kitchen, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
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Ignorance can be educated.
Crazy can be medicated.
But there is no cure for stupidity...
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday?
A: An easy bake oven.
Vote:
A husband and wife are having financial troubles.
They agree she should walk the streets to pick up some extra cash.
The husband drops his wife off in the red light area of town, and returns 6 hours later.
She gets in the car and says, "Look, I made $40.50 !"
"What jerk gave you 50 cents?" he asks.
"All of them!"