Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
How do you know when an Asian breaks into your home? Your house is clean, your computer is fixed, and their still pulling out of your driveway.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room. Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.